What can I say about myself. My real name is Josh Eltervoog.

Yes, you read that right, Eltervoog. Quite a handle. If you've ever met another Eltervoog, I can assure you, they're related to me.

But all that aside, all you really need to know are three things (actually four, but three has a better ring to it)

This was my college dorm room.

This is my mom.

This was a note from my 8th grade history teacher to the vice principal.

This is my dog.